And in case the title didn’t make you think of the fantastically 80’s hairband Europe’s song, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw
This makes me feel a little better already.
Today I’m 39 weeks, 2 days. Basically, I’m due to have this baby any day.
To say I’m stressed about it is an understatement.
Well-meaning people ask me if I’m excited. The bizarrely, straight-forward answer is ‘no’. I’m about as excited as when I know something big is about to happen and I have absolutely no control on how the outcome will be. The apprehension, the fear, the suspense is not something I relish. Sure, other people are excited.
They also aren’t gaining 75lbs., sleeping only 45 minute intervals before either having to pee, waking up from pain, or experiencing the joy of acid reflux (all 3 have been going on for for the last couple weeks) OR having their body swell from heat so much that the skin feels tight and itchy and the only relief is going to be to have that darn baby.
The first time I read that to accommodate the growing fetus (ugh, I hate that word!), the mother’s ribs expand to make room for their organs. My mind was completely blown. Sure, the baby, ever-so-nonchalantly, can grow free and happy while the mother’s insides get squished and stuffed up their throat. That is some alien shit, right there though.
Sure, I had some of these issues while pregnant with Arden. With my rapid swelling/weigh gain that is a totally undesirable family trait, I was offered the sweet relief of being induced early. THEN, I was excited! I had an end in sight. Turns out though, that I was only dilated 1 cm. So that day, after 3 nurses and then finally my OB assaulted my lower half, I realized I had made a REALLY poor choice. Attempting to insert the balloon catheter into an opening too small, is extremely painful and that was only to get labor started. Pair that with not being allowed to eat and things got ugly.
There were some positives. The epidural was amazing. Then there was when Arden was actually born. Despite being covered in ick, I was in love immediately.
I’m sure that will happen again.
I wanted this baby for what seems like eternity.
It’s just been the 3 of us for so long, it’s hard to wrap my brain around what our family will NOW be like.
It’s challenging to try to comfort Arden when she says she feels left out because she has a different last name.
Joel has been wonderfully amazing and I’m going to miss my nightly foot-rubs.
Check back with me after the baby is born and we are all home safe.
OR after 4-6 months when I can (hopefully) fit into my regular-people clothes again. When I don’t spill food down myself at every meal. When I don’t eat chicken wings with such gusto that Arden says ‘Don’t eat the bone, Mama!’ When I only have to wake up every couple hours a night to care for a child instead of my current state. Then I hope to be able to feel completely different. Relieved that the anxious, exhausting wait is finally over. That labor is behind me and I will finally have that beautiful baby in my arms.
In the spirit of camaraderie, what was your most dumb-founding revelation about pregnancy or child-birth?